i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
