I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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