dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
