Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize