Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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