She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
