Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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