I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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