My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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