Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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