Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He passed out mid-signature
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
