I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
