you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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