OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Randomize
