he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
