no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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