He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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