I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
