Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize