"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
