week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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