These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
