This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
So apparently I’m into choking now
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