none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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