Screwed.edu
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
