Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize