Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
