I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
