apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
