Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
