yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
