people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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