U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
