Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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