When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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