***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
