You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
