Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
