I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize