Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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