i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
