Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
