lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
