Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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