Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
