Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
