i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
