No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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