"it" just moved
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
