Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
