I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Randomize
