we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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