I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
