I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
