I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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