She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
