Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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