Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
