I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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