For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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