Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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