I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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