Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
