I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
