Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
