i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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