what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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