Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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