Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
