i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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