Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
