I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize